Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
