she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
