Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
