I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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