What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
