Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
