I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
