I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
