my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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