is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
