I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
