oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Couch. On fire.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
