batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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