He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are we still banned from the library?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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