The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
