Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
