Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
