8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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