It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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