sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
