OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
