I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
