i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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