Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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