dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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