Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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