I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
