his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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