Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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