what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
