READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
