why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize