I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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