Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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