naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
