come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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