I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
