my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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