the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
