I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
