you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
