were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
