you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
