Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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