the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
