You really coming over, don't trick.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
