i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
