READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
