she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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