well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
