she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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