..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
