i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize