She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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