What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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