note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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