Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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