Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
