Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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