we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize