I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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