actually, I'm a sock model
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize