covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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