Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
