Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
