summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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