Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
