sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
