You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
